Soooo

Tonight was interesting. I got off at 11pm and met my good friend Joel. He is awesome. He is probably the only person I can really have a truly whole-hearted conversation with. I think we get each other pretty well. It's not all about updates about our lives. It's about what's within our lives.

These conversations really make me sit back and analyze myself, my life, and everyone around me. Sometimes you feel used. Sometimes you feel so small. In the end, you only truly live for yourself. Do what you love and what makes you happy but make sure you are going somewhere. You are going to end up somewhere and just imagine where that "somewhere will be". It's not right to think of yourself as invincible or superior. You are one of 6 billion.

You are a fish swimming in a sea with many salmon swimming against your flow of life.


-Rania Khoury

WATCH RANIA KHOURY LIVE!

I need friends to come out and support at this concert, or else it will be even more difficult to get some shows around here

SO COME OUT AND JOIN THE FUN!

TICKETS ARE ONLY 8 BUCKS IN ADVANCE! CONTACT ME: Rania.Khoury@yahoo.com

Well, here I sit at work looking through old pictures of my dear friend Ross who passed away 2 years ago. I can't believe it has been two years. I visited him on Friday, June 5, which was the official two years. I took some yellow roses and just sat there and talked to him for a little. At one point, I looked down and I noticed his birthday which I totally had forgotten what it was. It read...


May 1, 1989-June 5, 2007

May 1. May 1. May 1 is when my beautiful cousin passed away. Oh Nayef. My heart aches when I think of you. Sometimes it gets so overwhelming to think about all of you. All of you who have passed. It hurts. Then I start thinking about one of you and you all start rushing back into my mind. Not a single day goes by that you don't cross my mind Nayef. And Ross. And Iyad.
What tragedies.
This isn't even the beginning nor the end.

Ross, I can honestly say that your death was one of the most powerful tragedies in my life. I knew you. I was your friend and you were mine. I have memories with you. Such vivid memories of you. I try never to forget them because I try and remember them as much as possible.

It's not fair. It's not fair that all these young boys had to die and people out there try and die but FAIL. OVER AND OVER. It was a sign. I can't believe it still.
So here is the story.

The date is May 27, 2009. I am driving on 20 East going towards Cooper in Arlington. I am in the midst of passing under the Park Springs bridge when all of a sudden a see a girl fall from the bridge and smack into the concrete.

First reaction was: "OH MY GOD OH MY GOD"
Second reaction was: 911
Third reaction was: U TURN U TURN
Fourth reaction was: Park and sprint down to her

So I get to this girl. She is in bad shape. She is awake, her eyes are open, but she is in a lot of pain and has some blood in her mouth. Cops start to show up and they are questioning me this and that. Her boyfriend says her name.

WEIRD WEIRD WEIRD: I KNOW HER!

Ends up that she was trying to kill herself. And it was her fourth attempt.

I don't get it.I hate thinking about it. I hate crossing under bridges now.

Well all I can say is that I miss you Ross. I miss you Nayef. I miss you Iyad.

Matt Preston and Austin, I miss seeing you around. You have helped me realize a lot. All of you. I am finally starting to realize how important it is to truly live your life to the fullest. It's such a cliche line, I know, but it's so true. It can be taken from you at any second, whether you:

Eat healthy, excercise, drive drunk, sky dive, take vitamins, drive, ski, ride a boat, SHIT EVEN WALKING.
No matter what, if it's your time, it's your time. The hard part is accepting it.

Can you accept it?

Days turned to hours, 18:30

Years turned to months
Months turned to weeks
Weeks turned to days
Days turned to hours
Hours turned to minutes
Minutes turned to that exact second.

The exact time that you were gone .

18:30

It was a cold day, it was a cold night

Little did I know, you were at the end of your fight

18:10, you were my cousin and my friend

Down to the last twenty you would ever see again

It took every ounce of you to fight

But not everyone can win in this endless life

It withered you away from what we once knew

A strong, happy, lovable human

Stretched out like the finest rubber band

Slowly pulling and pulling until everyone heard the snap

All I have left are these albums of memories

Memories which seem to have escaped my mind

I have these messages you sent me

Messages that only grow older with time
What really hurts is that I can’t be there

Alongside my family, alongside to grieve for you

I wish I could have seen you one last time

Just hug you and tell you everything will be alright

But will it?

Only you know now what comes after this life

The content hasnt changed

Life must go on still the same

But in my heart you will remain

Gone and free, and born again

Fly up from this earth and towards the sun

Release all hurt and your love for everyone

Watch over your family as they all come

One by one, one day, we will all become eternally young.

Rest in peace my beautiful cousin

Iyad Aziz Khoury, March 1, 2009

-Rania Khoury

“I see my light, come shining, from the West down to the East. Any day now, any day now, I shall be release”-Bob Dylan

In the loving memory of Iyad Aziz Khoury, my cousin and friend.

Iyad and his beautiful family.

This misery is driving me insane, and so i ask these three questions to myself today
Should I just float through life with all these black holes?

Am I a casket, sheltering a dead soul?

Mistakes pave my path with every decision I have made in my past

Will this haunt me in my future or lead to my death?

I have to discover this for myself, before my world comes to an end
This is my eternal internal war, trying to find my immortal soul
-Rania Khoury

LISTS LISTS LISTS

My destinations list:

• New York City
• Chicago
• San Diego
• Las Angelas
• Whereever it is that Siera lives now
• Nazareth
• Amman
• Rio de janeiro
• Boston
• Philadelphia

Things to do before I die:

• Scuba Dive
• Win the lottery
• Become famous
• Find my soulmate
• Sky dive? maybeee...

I will have to finish this late...

PAINT!

OH, the bored days I have spent at work.

Is that what happens when you die?